As women, we need to learn to let go. In relationships, family, or even our jobs, we learn to accept and internalize less than what we deserve. We got comfortable, complacent, and settle. Why do we settle for less? Why do we hurt ourelves? Put ourself through heartache and pain. Have a hard time letting go…
Often times, we are so caught up in the few moments of happiness that we use that to numb the rest of the time that is causing pain and sadness. Even though we are happy 20% of the time and unhappy 80% of the time, we only remember the good. Maybe because we are scared of change, going out of our comfort zone, and\or scared of failing.
I fight these emotions myself, all the time, through every part of my life. But it’s important to remember that growth is only achieved by pushing yourself out of those limits. Through pain comes strength. Through tough times comes a better version of you. Think about a time in your past when you did something you were scared to do, are you proud for yourself looking back? Feel like it wasn’t as bad as you thought and happy you made that decision?
I can only speak for myself, but as a fairly religious person, I find that putting my faith into something bigger helps me through those times. The times I am scared, the times I have feelings of of not being good enough, or the times I feel like I may fail. I like to compare life to sandpaper. Every obstacle or hard time that is put in our way is like a piece of sandpaper, continuously sanding away at us….ultimately polishing us into the most perfect version of myself.
And most importantly, as I have gotten older, I have learned to say “no” more. No to things that don’t make me happy. No to things I am not comfortable doing. No to thing that I feel aren’t in my best interest. It’s not easy, and as someone who is completely a “people please” I have to work on this. A lot.
I am still working on getting better at “letting go”. Letting go of those who hurt me. Those who cause sadness. Things that don’t help me better myself and reach my end goal. It’s hard to do. Trust me. But I am working on getting better. By surrounding myself with those who know me, those who empower me, and those who have my best interest in mind and know what’s best for me. Discernment at any age is tough, but through the storm always comes a rainbow. You have to end one chapter to start a new one. And most of the time, the grass is truly greener on the other side.
Here are 10 things I have learned and try to remember:
1. People and things come into our life for a reason. A season. Or a lifetime. Let it go if it’s out of season.
2. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. You are just doing what you feel best for you.
3. If it isn’t helping you, let go
4. If it’s hurting you, let go
5. Surround yourself with those who push you to be better. Believe in you. And truly have your best interest in mind
6. If it’s meant to be in your life, it will be. You never have to chase what wants to stay
7. Letting go doesn’t mean you give up. It just means you value yourself
8. If you don’t like something, change it. Say something. Don’t be unhappy because you have too much pride.
9. You are perfect for the things and people that are meant for you
10. If the door closes, leave it closed. You can’t find happiness by going back to the things that made you unhappy in the first place.